: Reading time:
“She just can’t take a step without me. All the time she calls “mom, mom”... No, well, it’s nice, of course, but she needs to communicate with the children, she’s going to kindergarten soon...” Child and adolescent psychologist Victoria Melikhova tells the story.
During the first year of life, the child does not leave his mother, and their relationship is symbiotic. It is very important that this stage goes well, so that the child receives not only confidence in meeting his needs, but also maternal love, care, and attention.
Here I would like to recall the words of Lyudmila Petranovskaya: “When a need is generously satisfied by a parent, the child is joyfully freed from it. It is the fully satisfied need to be dependent, to receive care and help that leads to independence and the ability to do without help... But if the answer to the child’s request is not received or is given through irritation, the child does not become independent: he remains captive to the need.”
“When a need is generously satisfied by the parent, the child is joyfully freed from it. It is the fully satisfied need to be dependent, to receive care and help that leads to independence and the ability to do without help.”
With the successful passage of this phase, when the child has been imbued with maternal love and care, has gained experience in recognizing his feelings, needs, sensitively responding to them, has become convinced of the mother’s reliability and stability, he is able to let her go a little, separate himself a little from the mother, and become more independent.
The child, relying on the experience of prosperous and reliable relationships, retains them inside. He retains the image of his mother within himself, so he is able to do without her for some time and play independently. He is sure that if such a need arises, his mother will definitely be there to protect, reassure, and save. Therefore he is able to wait.
The child develops a need for his own personal space, he moves away from his mother, periodically returning to her, making sure that she is in place, relying on her love and care.
If there is a glitch in this scenario, the baby will not want to separate from the parent. Let's look at the main reasons why a child “sticks” to his mother and begins to worry too much when he is not around.
