Hello, friends! Unfortunately, sometimes there comes a period in a toddler’s life when the rules begin to apply. We are forced to say: “No!”, “You can’t!”, “Don’t do it!”. It is impossible to say that we are doing absolutely the right thing when we forbid something small. In general, the word “no” should be used as rarely as possible. But what do you tell me to do when a child throws toys around for 2 years? We are forced to establish certain rules of behavior. Let's talk about this.
But, without changing tradition, I want to call for the most important moment in relationships. Before you teach, tell, show, educate, or anything else, try to UNDERSTAND your little one! Why is he doing this? And then you will succeed without nerves on your part and without pulling your little one in vain!
This is how I will conduct the conversation. I'll start with the reasons for the “abnormal” behavior of children. And then together we’ll try to develop the right tactics and strategy for dealing with the little ones when they scatter objects and toys.
What makes kids throw away their toys?
Up to 2
Imagine! The little man is about a year and a half old. What tools does he have to attract attention? If at six months he was limited only to crying, now that he can freely sit, crawl and even stomp, he discovers that mom (or dad) reacts to him dropping objects. And now, as soon as he wants his parents to pay attention to him, he knows what to do!
From 2
The little one is growing up and is now 2 years old. Is something changing in his thinking? He still needs attention. In addition, he learned about the ability of some objects to jump and jump. Fly away from the surface. So, throwing the ball at the wall, he has a great time. What about other items? He can't wait to find out. Or maybe this is not recognition of something, but just creative chaos. When we make or cook something, we also have everything scattered on the table: both what we need and what we don’t need. What can we say about a child who doesn’t even know how things “should” be, what order is and how to distinguish it from disorder. Psychologists say that until the age of 5, a child does not understand the phrase “clean up the room.” In order for the child to understand what is required of him, you need to tell everything in order: take these cubes and take them to that box.
Over 3
But sometimes it seems that the little one knows that he is wrong, but he does it. For example, when he is already old enough, if he is already 3 years old or more. Believe me, he does this unpurposefully, and does it unconsciously, it’s just a creative mess. But even if you see that at the age of 3-4 he does this on purpose, for example, so that you come and spend time with him, pay attention to him, or demonstratively protests against your ban, then you don’t need to do anything . Less emotion means less association that the action has an impact. Sometimes we want to break plates in a scandal with our husband in order to embellish our emotions. Is this bad? Did he (or we) deserve a blanket? No way! Then teach your child that you respond to his whims and negative actions. You will give him what he expects - his action gives a result and, depending on the result obtained, the child will continue to use it in order to obtain the same result.
Let me summarize. What are the reasons that babies throw toys around?
- attracts attention;
- playing - creative disorder;
- studies physics;
- naughty.
What to do to wean your baby from this bad habit?
Reasons why children break their toys
A child breaks toys because they are not suitable for his age.
Very often children break toys because they do not understand how to play with them. Parents often make the mistake of buying the toy that their child points out to them. And then they get upset if the baby breaks it on the first day. The right thing to do is to buy toys that are suitable for the child’s age, then he will be interested in playing with them and will not want to break them at all.
You shouldn’t scold your child for broken toys that don’t suit him. The kid doesn’t do this on purpose, he just doesn’t understand what to do with them.
Parents simply should not buy toys that are not suitable for the child’s age and are too expensive. Nowadays, it is very easy to choose the right toy, since all of them are marked with what age this or that toy is intended for.
You shouldn’t scold a child for a broken toy, much less punish him. Children very often endure punishment painfully, so this should be done as little as possible. Such actions can develop a tendency towards aggression in a child and cause an aversion to all games. But there is no need to ignore this either. You need to calmly talk to the child and explain that breaking toys is not good.
Parents often have a question: “Is it possible to buy a toy that is not suitable for a child’s age if he really asks for it?” There are two options:
- You should not buy toys that can harm your child. For example, a construction set with small parts. A child may simply swallow the part. Such toys should not be bought, no matter how the child asks.
- If there is nothing dangerous for the child in the toy, then the parents must decide for themselves whether to buy it or not. But if such a toy is purchased, you need to immediately be prepared for the fact that the child will soon break it and you should not scold him for this.
The toy did not live up to expectations
There are cases when a child breaks a toy on purpose because he didn’t like it. This often happens when a child in a store chose one toy, and the parents bought another. Then parents can immediately prepare for the fact that the toy they bought and is not wanted by the child will soon be broken and thrown into the far corner. With such actions, the child wants to show that he is not happy and is waiting to buy the toy that he chose.
How to fix the situation?
You need to try to explain to the child that the toy was bought with all his heart and that he very upset his parents with such an act. You should not buy new toys for your child immediately after he breaks the old one. In this case, the child will understand that after a breakage a new toy will be bought and will continue to break toys, expecting that a new one will be bought soon.
There is no need to remove a broken toy; let it be in the child’s field of vision; he will understand that it doesn’t look very nice and should not be done this way again. You shouldn’t swear at your child, you just need to talk calmly with him and explain that breaking toys is bad and if he continues to do this, he won’t have new toys.
During the next trip to the store, the child may again choose a toy that is not suitable for him. In this case, you should not buy anything at all, so as not to repeat the mistakes you have already made. The child needs to be explained and reminded of how he broke a previously purchased toy.
Features of temperament
Currently, a large number of children are aggressive. Such a child’s toys break regularly and this is due to his temperamental characteristics. The child is very active, cannot sit in one place for a long time, is easily distracted and is often irritated. Such children often break toys not on purpose, sometimes they step on them during active play, sometimes they press hard, etc.
What to do?
Not paying attention to this would be a huge mistake. The situation needs to be corrected before it becomes more serious. You cannot scold a child in such a situation. Punishment can only make the situation worse, the aggressiveness will increase, and the child will withdraw into himself. Parents need to talk to the child and explain to him that the way he is behaving is not at all good and this cannot be done.
In order for a child to take out accumulated energy and emotions somewhere, it is necessary to create all the conditions for him and purchase toys that will not break. For example, rubber. For boys, an excellent option would be to buy a punching bag with gloves. Parents need to think about sending their children to various clubs and sections where they will spend their energy usefully.
If the above methods do not help, then it is best to seek help from a neurologist and child psychologist.
Curiosity and inquisitiveness of a child
Very often, children do not deliberately disassemble toys into parts or accidentally break them - this is due to curiosity and the desire to learn new things. They are very interested in what the toy consists of and what is inside it. Most often, the first thing children do is take apart expensive and bright toys. Therefore, parents need to be prepared for the fact that an expensive toy will soon end up in disassembled condition. After the child examines the toy from the inside, he tries to put it back together, but this rarely works.
What should I do?
Parents need to purchase more toys that are fairly easy to assemble and disassemble. The child will be interested in playing with them. When a child grows up, he should be given educational books to read and educational cartoons to watch. This will satisfy his curiosity.
Baby attracts parents' attention
Very often, a child begins to regularly misbehave, be capricious, break toys and constantly play pranks. This may be due to a lack of parental attention. In this way, the child wants to at least somehow draw the parents’ attention to himself.
Solution
The most important thing is to talk with your child, find out what exactly he wants to play with you. Maybe draw, read or just talk? You need to go for walks with your child more often. Build a snowman, ride a slide, play football or play in the sand. Organize theatrical performances or just quietly watch cartoons together. The child will definitely like all this, and he will be very happy about such a pastime. Thanks to such games, the child will be with his parents more often and the atmosphere in the family will be very good.
The child just wants to break everything
There are situations when a child breaks his toys simply out of anger or resentment. Having broken a toy, he throws out all his negative emotions and feels better. Most often, a child takes this example from his parents when, when angry, they throw things, scream and make many other movements that the child remembers. After such parental actions, the child begins to do the same during aggression or anger.
What should I do?
You need to allocate a place for the child and equip it so that the child can easily disassemble and break something there, and then put it back together. Boxing gloves and a punching bag are very helpful for boys, and darts is perfect for girls.
Kid playing superhero
If a child throws toys around and spins everything around, and then walks around as if he has done a good deed, then most likely he imagines himself as a superhero. He needs to destroy the villains and during the game he simply does not notice how he breaks his toys.
Solution
In such situations, you definitely need to talk to the child and explain to him that the toys he breaks are not villains, and by breaking them, he is not doing a completely heroic act. The best option would be a corner in the children's room where the child can turn into a superhero and fight villains.
Some more common reasons
- Excessive guardianship of the child. Some people are too obsessive about how the child plays with his toys. This begins to irritate him and he breaks toys.
- The baby is sick and very tired. When a child is sick, he quickly gets irritated and becomes impatient. Because of such irritability, the child very often breaks toys unintentionally.
- Expression of anger. Very often children blame their toys for their failures, not themselves. For example, the car does not fit into the built garage. The child does not think that he made him small - he breaks the car, thinking that it turned out to be too big. All the child's anger is poured out on the toy, the baby throws it and this causes it to break.
- Buying a new toy. Sometimes children think that if an old toy is broken, they will buy him a new one, which is why they break them.
If we want to help our little ones
Please note that I am talking about help, but not about strict limits in education. Understand that punishment and strictness in education have their place, but in the very last place. So what can you do to help?
Here are some ways:
- Be patient! Don't expect to be understood the first or second time. Every time, kindly explain that this cannot be done.
- Don't focus on cleanliness at all. In fact, this is our problem that we cannot make a separate room for the child, in which he himself can be the owner and learn from his own experience what is good about order. If it is not possible to make a playroom, then set aside a place in the apartment where the child can do whatever he wants, lay out everything he needs. The main thing is to ensure safety so that the sharp hard corners of the cubes or pyramids do not stick out. You can even put up a soft homemade fence from pillows, foam rubber, cardboard, or buy a ready-made one. And it won’t look like chaos. On the contrary, it’s like a beautiful play area.
- And you need to explain it correctly! Addressed, that is, sit down at the little one’s eye level and tell him, looking into his eyes.
- One more thing - you need to find the words correctly. Speak in short phrases so that the little one understands the essence. Simple words spoken kindly, but firmly, the baby will “hear” and understand.
- Do not prohibit or punish. I mean, don’t take away an object or toy and walk away, leaving a confused baby. This can only achieve that the child will feel insecure and offended.
- What's the best thing to do? Redirect energy. Show what is possible and how. And even play together so that the little one understands how and what to play with correctly.
- And further! If you find out that all the whims are because the baby feels abandoned. Try to set aside some time in your schedule every day to give your child attention.
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Some children very often break, tear, break almost everything that falls into their hands. What does this have to do with? Does the baby really show a hooligan character at such an early age? Or maybe the matter is completely different, and bad upbringing has nothing to do with it? Not every mother knows how to react to this behavior of her son (daughter). The child is amused by this state of affairs - he enjoys the process of destruction. If it’s not a matter of ordinary awkwardness, then it’s time to think about how to wean your child from such a habit. Modern psychologists identify several reasons for this behavior in children. In each specific case it is necessary to look for one of them. The first is the child's impatience . He tries to insert one toy into another, but this does not work due to its size and lack of necessary motor skills and dexterity. Then the child begins to act with force. Toys break and the child loses interest in them. The kid doesn’t like that things don’t turn out the way he wants. Also, children sometimes simply do not understand such concepts as force, distance, speed of action and the relationships between them. This will take some time. It is necessary to help your child when you begin to notice that something is not working out for him and he is nervous. You can offer another game in which everything will work out and nothing will have to be destroyed. Another reason for a child’s destructive behavior is his completely natural desire to explore the world . You want to touch everything, and especially what you can’t touch (for example, a crystal vase). Such curiosity may well be dangerous. Therefore, it can only be encouraged regarding items that are safe for the baby’s health. It’s better to keep everything else out of his sight. It is also worth explaining that playing with some objects can be dangerous. Often the reason for this child's behavior is the lack of attention from parents . The child begins to notice that when he breaks something, the mother immediately drops everything and runs to him. Sometimes children begin to take advantage of this and destroy everything on purpose. You shouldn't scold him too much. It is also necessary to correct your behavior, find time for the baby, without taking him to extreme measures. There are also cases when a child requires too much attention to himself. In this case, you need to talk to him, explain that his mother must also cook dinner, clean up, or help his older brother with his homework. You need to try to explain to your child what patience is and teach him to show it.
