Parents have a great responsibility for how well their children understand their gender identity and role positions in society. After all, boys and girls eventually grow into men and women who will have to be attracted to procreate. And here the education of each gender becomes important. The online magazine psytheater.com will tell you how to properly raise a 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 year old girl.
Every mother who gives birth to a girl needs to remember that she will become a woman in the future. Thus, her upbringing will be slightly different from raising a boy, who needs to be instilled with different qualities and outlooks on life. The mother is primarily involved in raising a girl and shows by her own example what she should be like.
How to raise a girl?
When a daughter appears in a family, the question arises of how to raise her. There is no way to raise a girl in the first year of her life, since she is still developing at the physical level. Here, the development of boys and girls occurs at the physiological level almost identically. However, how to raise a girl in subsequent years?
When the baby begins to grow up, this is where you definitely need to take charge of her upbringing. To understand exactly how to educate, you need to understand the essence of education itself.
Many parents sometimes have the question: “How to raise your child?” All parents want their children to grow up to be strong, self-confident, successful and happy people. But for some reason, many children from such families grow up weak, unsuccessful, unloved and unsure of themselves. Why is that? Because parents misunderstand the essence of raising a child.
What is education? Many people think that education means passing on to children your beliefs, outlook on life, accustoming them to the rules of society, etc. In fact, in this way you are passing on to your children only your own fears, limiting beliefs, the rules by which you yourself live in society . As a result, the child often repeats the fate of his parents.
What is the essence of education? How to raise a child so that he really lives better than his parents? He needs to be given tools that he will then use when he becomes an adult.
Understand that your child will soon grow up, become an adult, leave your family and begin to build his own life. What beliefs will he use? What morals will he adhere to? What skills will he use? What will he believe? Only what you, dear parents, gave and raised in him. How useful is the knowledge and skills that you give him? You use them yourself. Do they help you become happy, loved and rich? If not, then the knowledge and skills you are passing on to your child are useless.
The essence of education is to convey to the child that information, teach those skills, develop those skills that will become useful to him when he grows up. How useful is everything that you teach your child? Do you want him to be obedient? Then, even as an adult, he will obey everyone. Do you want your daughter to be a skilled housewife? Then men will love her only for her thriftiness. Are you teaching your son to gain respect through grades? Then he will feel respected when he has a lot of money. And the rest of the time, your children will be unhappy, especially if they don’t succeed. So, what are you raising them for and what will they enter into adulthood with?
Raising a girl will be easy if you just stick to the understanding of what she will eventually become. Depending on how you want to see her, base your upbringing. Understand that in the future your daughter will begin to become a woman. She must have relevant views on:
- What is the beauty of a woman's body? What do you need to be to attract men?
- What is love and when does it arise?
- What qualities should she have to be happy?
- What is inherent in women? What is femininity?
- What duties should a woman perform?
- What values and morals should you be guided by?
- What is a man and how to build a relationship with him?
Many issues are not addressed at such an early age. Although it is worth understanding that children learn the differences between boys and girls at an early age.
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We develop talents
The next important and very relevant stage is the girl’s idea of her attractiveness and talents. Raising a 5-year-old child requires a special and careful attitude to determining his abilities. The baby’s psychology is very vulnerable at this time, and criticism expressed towards him by people close and significant to him can greatly influence his further desire to achieve success and develop his talents. At this age, girls, as a rule, already attend sports or creative clubs and everyone has different success rates. Parents should constantly tell their child that she is smart and everything will work out for her; it is important to provide support and approval for the efforts of their child.
It is necessary to tell your daughter as often as possible that she is beautiful. Compliments from dad and grandfather are perceived much better and deeper for the perception of a little coquette. So during this period, dad should be actively involved in praise and compliments for his daughter. Waking up the baby in the morning, the mother can say: “Wake up, my most beautiful and smart girl, the kindest, sweetest, talented, healthy and beloved daughter!” Over time, words can be supplemented or replaced by those that are more important at a given period of life. Such rituals, when repeated regularly, can have a great effect and help the child develop a positive image of himself.
In addition, parents increasingly need to involve their child in joint activities or housework. Mothers should not be afraid that the baby will break something or get dirty in the kitchen, but teach her to cook together. Assign her certain tasks that the girl can do, and praise and encourage her for the work done. A 5-year-old child should already have some responsibilities around the house. This could be cleaning up your toys and making your own bed, caring for your pet, watering your flowers, or something else.
It is important to remember that you should not compare your child with other children or with brothers and sisters. This may seem difficult for some parents, but it is worth considering that all babies are different; there are not even two identical grains of sand on earth, let alone people. Comparison only develops envy and a sense of inferiority in children. When pointing out unworthy behavior to a child, it is worth saying that doing so is unacceptable, such actions are characteristic only of bad children, but in no case should you call the girl herself bad, you should refrain from making negative statements about her as a person.
How to raise a girl correctly?
A girl differs from a boy in that in the future they will become men and women who fulfill certain roles in this life. How to raise a girl correctly? This applies to both dads and moms.
- Developing self-care skills.
Your daughter should be treated like a princess who should always look beautiful. First, the mother does this, decorating her daughter while she is little, then the daughter trains herself to make herself beautiful. Treat your daughter as if she is beautiful, beautiful, and admired for her appearance. And this really should be the case.
All girls are different. Even if your daughter is far from the ideal of beauty, you should not focus on this. Any girl should feel beautiful, even if she does not meet the standards in some way. Dad and mom should help their daughter make herself beautiful. To do this, you can buy children's cosmetics so that your daughter can learn the art of makeup, hairstyles, etc.
Buy the girl beautiful dresses. Many parents make the mistake of dressing their daughters in clothes left over from their previous children. Often daughters wear the pants and suits of their older brothers. There is nothing wrong with this, only the girl loses her femininity, she begins to become a “tomboy”.
To raise a real lady, you need to remember from childhood that you are growing a future woman, and not just a second or third child who bears what is left after her older brothers. Pay a lot of attention to your daughter’s wardrobe.
- Fewer restrictions and deprivations.
A girl needs not just to be pampered, but simply to please more often. It is better for a daughter to grow up happy and receive everything, than for her to constantly suffer and get used to the role of a victim. If you constantly punish your daughter, forbid everything, and don’t listen, then she will grow up to be an unhappy woman who will eventually choose the same tyrant as her parents, who will order her, humiliate her and forbid everything.
- Show male model.
The older the daughter gets, the more acute the father’s need for her upbringing becomes. It is the father who will become the model of the man whom the daughter will look for in her chosen ones in the future. It’s good if a father treats his daughter in such a way that she understands how a man should behave. Of course, intimate relationships and serious kissing are not needed here. A father simply must love his daughter, give her gifts, carry her in his arms, listen and hear, that is, accustom her to a normal relationship with a man.
If a mother is raising her daughter herself, then she must make sure that at least they are surrounded by men whose example the daughter will follow.
- Getting to know the real world.
When a girl becomes independent, she will more than once encounter various unpleasant situations. Girls are more defenseless in front of the real world. However, she should not be protected from him. It’s better to introduce the girl to the fact that there are various troubles in the world. Tell us how to behave in a given situation.
Many girls become victims of rapists or other villains because they simply do not know how to behave in a dangerous situation. Parents did not take care of this at an earlier age.
- Development of farming skills.
In the future, the daughter will be faced with the need to be the keeper of the hearth, so she must be good at doing all women’s housework. These skills should be developed from childhood.
- Development of kindness.
Undoubtedly, every girl should have kindness. At the same time, parents should not overdo it so that their daughter does not direct her kindness even to unworthy people.
- Individuality.
Every woman should have a highlight. And it lies in the fact that the girl will simply be herself, unlike the others. Allow your daughter to be unique and unusual.
- Leadership skills.
Not only boys should have strong character traits. A modern woman should also be able to be successful in social life. Therefore, parents should allow their daughter to show her strengths and develop all the necessary character traits.
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Raising a 1 year old daughter.
After the first year of life, parents should think about raising their daughter. Now she can be instilled with various qualities that will make her feminine. However, many parents adhere to the principle of the feminist spirit in the weaker sex. This ultimately leads to the inability of girls to build normal relationships with guys in the future.
It’s better to raise not a feminist who will constantly break up with guys and remain unhappy, but a feminine lady – balanced, caring and gentle.
Mothers should include their daughters in their daily activities. Let the daughter be present during all the activities that the mother does. Children are happy to copy the behavior of their parents, so remember that your daughter takes her example from you first and foremost.
Also, your daughter may already begin to prefer a certain style of clothing. She should be indulged in this by buying what she likes.
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Raising a 2 year old daughter.
After reaching 2 years old, my daughter shows interest in creativity. It is through drawings, modeling, dancing, singing, etc. that my daughter expresses her emotions. Here she should only be helped in developing her skills, and not interfered with or taught to do other work.
Each daughter is individual. Each girl has her own interests and desires. Don't stop her from playing with what she likes, even if she prefers to play with soldiers and a ball rather than with dolls. Let your daughter play what interests her, it will soon pass.
Also, do not forget to praise the baby and give compliments. All children need words of encouragement that will tell them that they are doing something right.
If you suddenly notice some wrong actions in your daughter’s behavior, then understand that she copied them from someone and did not come up with them herself. This could be a mother, grandmother, neighbor or favorite cartoon character. Explain to your daughter why she shouldn’t do this, and don’t scold her.
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Raising a 3 year old daughter.
Parents must tell their daughters the truth and keep their promises. Psychologists also advise hugging and kissing daughters more often, especially if they themselves reach out and show their tender feelings.
Both parents should take part in raising the baby. Mom should become a friend with whom the daughter can talk about everything, and dad should become the standard of the man whom the daughter will look for when she grows up.
The baby takes her mother’s example, so often at this age she begins to try on her mother’s clothes, wear her makeup, and use other feminine items. You should not interfere with your daughter, but only encourage her desires.
Since daughters do not always behave well, here we need to learn to punish girls. You don’t need to do it too rudely, but you shouldn’t indulge your whims either.
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Raising a daughter at 4 years old.
The age of four is marked by a shift in interests from active activities towards mental pursuits. Here your daughter needs to answer all her questions “why?” and also be assigned to some section. Creativity continues to be a relevant activity, so all your daughter’s hobbies should be encouraged.
At this age, you should continue to involve your daughter in all women’s affairs, in particular housekeeping, and teach her various skills.
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Raising a 5-year-old daughter.
At the age of 5, a daughter can become unbearable as she begins to try her hand and strives to gain power over her parents. Here adults must correctly show their daughter that power remains with them.
Also, at the age of 5, my daughter begins to understand the difference between boys and girls, so she constantly asks various questions of an intimate nature. Here parents must be ready to answer them.
The daughter also becomes jealous of her dad. She gets jealous if he spends time with his mother and not with his daughter. Here the dad needs to not always indulge his daughter’s whims, showing that the mother remains the only woman in his life. Also at this stage, the daughter carefully monitors the relationship between dad and mom, remembering what model of relationship she will build when she grows up.
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Raising a 5-year-old child: features of education
The long-awaited time has come when you and the baby survived the crisis of three years. The baby has grown up and become more independent. Raising a 5-year-old child is based on the same principles as at a younger age. However, it has a number of features, which we will focus on in this article.
It is worth noting that by this age the child has almost developed a certain manner of behavior. He has learned a lot and can complete most tasks on his own. However, the baby is still distracted, and parents must regularly remind him of basic hygiene rules and proper behavior with peers and adults.
The formation of personality, determination of one’s place in society, and awareness of one’s own capabilities continue. Another turning point in the child’s formation begins - they begin to prepare him for school.
By this time, the baby had gotten used to the idea that he needed to attend kindergarten and his mother had to go to work. Despite this, he increasingly begins to demand attention, which parents cannot always give him in the right amount.
Raising a 5-year-old boy is not significantly different from raising a girl. The features of their characters differ.
Girls are more diligent and patient, obedient and careful. The boys are active and energetic. Although such a division is relative, because all children are different.
Raising children at this age does not have clear gender differences.
Features of communication
The age of five is a period of intense communication with peers. The baby is sufficiently adapted to the social environment and has ideas about the rules of behavior in it.
At this age, the baby consciously and without fear makes contact with children and adults, knows how to formulate a request or express gratitude.
By this time, as a rule, his aggressive sense of ownership disappears, and he is happy to share toys with friends. That is, the baby becomes more and more sociable.
However, not all kids communicate kindly with their peers. Some children try to assert themselves at the expense of others, to show leadership by demonstrating physical strength.
In such a situation, parents must definitely find out what prompts the child to behave aggressively, what is the reason for his negative relationship with peers.
The family must convince the child that they love and understand him and can help him deal with what worries him. The main task of parents is to teach their child to resolve conflict situations peacefully.
Parents have different opinions when it comes to whether to give change. Some suggest that physical force is unacceptable in this case as well. Others are confident that the ability to fight back against an offender is an important quality of an independent person, especially when it comes to a boy.
Each of them is right in their own way. Psychologists believe that a baby should be able to resist aggression. Whether he does this physically or mentally depends on the character of the baby. However, there must be opposition, otherwise the child will grow up unable to withstand life's difficulties.
Punishment and reward
It is impossible to raise a child without punishment: this is an integral part of general education. However, it is important to understand which punishment is correct and which may cause psychological trauma.
There are two types of punishment:
- Psychological;
- Physical.
It should be noted right away that punishment should be resorted to only after using persuasion and explanation. The child should be explained what his actions are unpleasant for others, what consequences they can bring. And only if these methods do not have any effect should punishment be resorted to.
Psychological punishment of a child can be as follows:
- Refusal to communicate with the baby.
At the same time, mom or dad must explain that they do not want to communicate with the baby until he begins to listen to their words. Most often, this method turns out to be very effective: the baby will strive in every possible way to win the favor of his parents.
- Prohibition or restriction.
Parents explain that the child will not be able to play his favorite game on the computer or watch cartoons now, since he behaves badly. Moreover, you need to specifically explain to the baby what he is doing wrong (throwing toys around, not listening to his mother, etc.)
Physical punishment is used in two forms:
- Restriction of freedom of movement.
The child is placed in a corner or asked to be alone in the room for some time so that he realizes his mistakes.
- Physical punishment.
This punishment requires no explanation. It was used by our ancestors as the main method of education. But psychologists believe that this type of punishment is not acceptable, since it can cause not only physical, but also moral suffering, which can develop into serious psychological disorders.
Basic rules that parents should follow when punishing a child:
- Under no circumstances should a child be scolded in public;
- The punishment must correspond to the gravity of the offense;
- Punishment cannot be delayed. After a few hours, the baby will no longer be able to understand why he is being punished;
- You should not threaten your child with punishment and then not fulfill your promise. The baby will no longer accept the comments of adults;
- It is not always necessary to punish a child for lying. What seems like a lie to an adult is just another flight of fancy for a child. After all, children at this age have a well-developed imagination, and they cannot always distinguish between the real world and the fictional one.
Proper upbringing of a little person at five years old is impossible without praise and encouragement. You need to praise your child for every good deed. You should not always accompany praise with gifts, because the child will develop the feeling that for every task well completed, the parents are obliged to buy him something.
Computer in education
Nowadays, the computer has become an integral part of life.
Often five-year-old children master computer games before they learn to read and write. This has its pros and cons. Many modern computer games are designed specifically for preschool children. With their help, your baby can master counting, learn to read and learn a lot of useful information.
However, uncontrolled presence in front of a computer monitor leads to the fact that the little ones choose games on their own that do not carry any educational load. Moreover, they can negatively affect the psyche of children. Games in which violence occurs infect children with aggressiveness.
Parents should be very careful when choosing computer games, since the development of abilities and behavior largely depends on them.
Moreover, it is necessary to strictly regulate the time the child spends in front of the monitor. The baby should not play more than 20 minutes a day. After the computer, it is advisable to offer the baby outdoor games.
Getting ready for school
Starting from the age of five, it is important to begin psychologically preparing the child for school. It provides the following points:
- Knowledge of the alphabet;
- Teaching basic numeracy skills;
- Development of knowledge about nature and its inhabitants;
- To promote the ability to understand the time of day, days of the week;
- Instill the ability to engage in educational activities for a certain time;
- Conduct mini-lessons in a playful way.
Personal example
The family hearth is a place that serves as protection, support and support. With the help of the family, personality develops.
Parents can tell their kids as much as they want about correct behavior, but these stories will have no educational value if adults do not adhere to the rules they teach.
You can raise a child correctly only by your own example.
How to raise a teenage girl?
Adolescence is the most difficult. However, even here it is possible to determine the correct line of behavior for parents with a teenage girl.
The daughter is gradually moving away from her parents, getting closer to her peers, which is normal. Parents should not interfere with this, nor with the fact that their daughter already wants to be treated like an adult. Here we need to help her grow up, and not show in various ways why she is still small.
Understand that your daughter will begin to try all the “forbidden fruits” at her age. Therefore, if it is not her parents who tell her what to do, she will try everything herself and make mistakes. Don’t protect yourself from adult life, but introduce your daughter to it.
Also, do not forget that it is during adolescence that the main emphasis is on appearance. If a girl wants to be beautiful, then she needs help with this, because otherwise she will not be able to raise her self-esteem and be confident.
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