Consultation for parents “How to properly respond to a child’s disobedience”


Why children don't listen


how to punish a childAll parents would like their children to be obedient and fulfill all the parents' demands the first time.
However, in reality this is unlikely to happen. Why don't children obey their parents?

  • Every child needs certain rules and order..
  • This way he will feel more calm and confident. Sometimes he wants to test the permitted boundaries and breaks the accepted rules.

  • If there are too many prohibitions, then the child rebels and stops obeying his parents.
  • Therefore, the number of words “impossible” should be limited. However, it is necessary to be consistent, otherwise it will not be clear why it is possible today and not tomorrow.

  • There is also such an extreme when the baby is allowed whatever he wants. In this case, there is no need to talk about discipline - he simply does not know what can be done and what not.
  • Sometimes children don't listen when they can't understand what they want.
  • Therefore, it is important for children (up to 5 years old) to show the necessary actions and perform them with him until he remembers.
  • There are moments when the child begins to test the strength of the permitted boundaries..
  • These are the so-called age crises. They happen in a year, at 3 years, 5-6 years, adolescence. They usually involve significant changes in skills. For example, I learned to walk, became aware of myself, and so on.
  • In some cases, children stop fulfilling requests if they want to attract attention to themselves.

If a child does not obey, then, first of all, it is necessary to pay attention to the methods of education, the situation in the family, the requirements for the child and his responsibilities. If parents do not take into account the experiences of their children, their emotions, needs and interests, then it will be difficult to establish discipline.

It has been proven that behavior is negatively affected by prolonged exposure to the TV or computer.

The brain is simply unable to assimilate the transmitted flow of information, and the child becomes irritable and aggressive and does not respond to the parents’ requests.

Consultation for educators “What to do if the child does not listen to you?”

Valeria Kovalenko

Consultation for educators “What to do if the child does not listen to you?”

for a teacher to do his job if the child does not obey . We understand that this is a child, that we were all the same.

What to do ? Of course, I want to react in such a way that the child stops being capricious and does as the adult needs, and at the same time everyone would be happy - both he and the teacher . In kindergarten, the leading role remains with the teacher , however, in many cases the child should have the right to vote.

A good result would be for the child to consciously do what seems so important to you, because we want the best for him and are trying to develop him. And of course, the positive relationship between you must be maintained!

First way:

"LET'S TALK ABOUT FEELINGS"

The main and first thing you need is to name the child’s feelings. Children help themselves if someone is willing to listen to them and empathize with them . Name the feeling that you think the child is experiencing. If you make a mistake , he will correct you. Acknowledging feelings is the first step to cooperation.

Second method: “DISTRACT”

This method only works well with very young children, and is best under 3 years of age. It can be used, but it will no longer be the main one. The essence of it is to try to switch his attention to something else.

Method three: LET’S DO IT TOGETHER

This method works well up to 4–5 years. Don't you want to do something ? Let your favorite doll or bear do this together! Together you can get dressed for a walk and go to bed. In this way, the child will gladly do what was the subject of a dispute. Play is a natural state for a preschooler.

Fourth method: A CHILD NEEDS A CHOICE

This method works from a very young age and, perhaps, does not lose its relevance in adulthood. Instead of making a direct demand, give your child a choice.

Fifth method “OK, WE'LL DO IT LATER

This method involves the adult postponing the situation a little later. But this method is not suitable if a quick response is required.

The sixth method “PERSUASION AND DISCUSSION”

There are situations when it is important for a child to act this way and not otherwise. They usually relate to safety issues, as well as compliance with moral standards. As is customary, such conversations occur after an episode of “wrong”

child's behavior. Conviction is not a requirement, but a way to convey to the child his own point of view on the situation, to explain why he needs to act this way and not otherwise.

The seventh method “DEMAND”

There are situations where only a strict and uncompromising requirement is applicable. First, we must strictly stop the “disgrace”

, and only then carry on conversations. But the requirements should not be abused. But they are used, the younger the child, the more often. After a dangerous or awkward situation has been overcome, you need to discuss it.

Eighth method “IT DOESN’T AFFECT ME”

There are times when a child expresses open protest. The child uses this as a means so that he is allowed to do what he wants, or is not forced to do what he does not want. Thus, the child resorts to adult manipulation. If you have been working with children of adults for a long time, then it is quite possible to distinguish between sincere, offended crying and manipulative crying “look-how-unhappy I am”

.
Having tried to manipulate you several times, the child will refuse this method and your opinion on this situation will remain unchanged. And the main thing is to be consistent: if they didn’t allow it, they wouldn’t allow it; you insist on your own, so to the end, but if it’s not possible now, in 5 minutes it’s impossible. Otherwise, you risk becoming victims of children's manipulations, and then the following situation will arise: he is the “leader”
, and you are
the “follower”
.

Why is this, and what will happen if everything is allowed?

how to punish a child
There has long been a debate among teachers and psychologists, some of whom consider punishment acceptable in certain situations and even necessary, and supporters of a “happy, cloudless childhood.”

In the first case, it is believed that without building a system of punishments and rewards at the right time, parents will face uncontrollability. After all, they have no leverage over their child.

The second opinion is based on the fact that parents are obliged to create conditions for their child for a safe and happy childhood.

Therefore, it is proposed to treat all the child’s actions calmly and kindly, solve his problems, and not scold him or punish him.

Children will grow up and understand all the norms of behavior accepted in society. This direction is guided by the theory of the American pediatrician B. Spock.

His principles were the denial of any punishment.

However, refusing to punish can make your child selfish and disorganized. He may never learn to respect others.

And is it really possible to endure all the “pranks” of your child for many years and never break down? No. The accumulated irritation sooner or later breaks out.

This will be a shock for a child who is accustomed to permissiveness. He will think that his parents stopped loving him.

Therefore, refusing to use punishment and indulging in whims will not eliminate conflicts. Such children show aggression even more often, especially when they leave the family circle and encounter the real world.

In order to correctly form a child’s personality, rules of behavior and prohibitions must be established. And if your child is 2 or 4 years old, you need to act completely differently.

About punishment at different ages

how to punish a child
So, punishment should still be present in education. But it’s worth deciding when and how to punish them.

Punishment must occur after the act has been committed.

It is worth punishing in exceptional cases, if the child deliberately committed an act, knowing that it was bad.

It is also important to consider age. Children under 2.5-3 years old are poorly aware of what actions they will be punished for. Therefore, it is better for them to simply remind them every time what is possible and what is not. You cannot punish if the child does not even understand why.

It is worth taking into account age-related mental norms. There is no need to demand an adult attitude from your child to various situations.

For example, children are often jealous of their parents towards each other, do not want to share toys, etc. There is no need to punish for this.

Expert opinion

Lisova Alina Viktorovna – teacher

Teacher-psychologist at a private development center

At an early age, parents should constantly explain to the child the consequences of his actions and help him learn the norms of behavior accepted in society.

Children under five years old often repeat the actions of adults. Therefore, it is necessary to monitor your actions and the people around you. Explain what is possible and what is not. It is especially important to show this through your behavior. If a child is forbidden to do something, but continues to do it themselves, then he is unlikely to understand that it is actually impossible.

Also, when choosing a punishment, it is necessary to take into account the character of a particular child, his temperament, and emotionality.

After all, different children perceive the same punishment differently.

Why don’t children hear us or don’t want to hear us?

“I’ve already told him 10 times – and he has zero reactions! Can you even hear me?” Sometimes, parents can be driven mad by situations when a child ignores their requests, pretends not to hear, or does not do as the parents ask. He peacefully continues his exciting activities or, on the contrary, protests, rebels and does the opposite. The child’s options for responding to our statements can be varied, but the parents’ reproach is the same - he doesn’t want to listen to me, it feels like he doesn’t hear me at all!

Why is this happening? After all, a small child does not make plans about how to finish off his parents, teach them a lesson, and educate them. His reactions are more like automatic reactions, a reflection of our relationship with him. And if the child does not hear you, then this is a litmus test showing that you exist on different waves with your child, that there is no cooperative relationship between you.

What could have caused this? I would like to list the reasons that lead to this result:

The most harmless and easily corrected option, when the child really does not hear you due to the fact that he is immersed in a state of play, in the world of his fantasies

. He is so engrossed in this that the voice coming from him is simply not noticed. In general, it is better not to interrupt a child’s play without special reasons. But if the reason is really important, then first make sure that when you speak the child is looking at you, that his attention has completely switched from the game to you, and only then speak - read more about this in the article “The World Through the Eyes of a Child.”

In all other cases, the child really does not want to listen to his parents.

In order to better feel these reasons, mentally switch roles with your child and imagine:

  • And you want to listen to people who constantly repeat the same thing in a boring and authoritarian voice, “I told you...”. And at the same time, do you want to start changing for the better, to improve, to be good?
  • Do you want to listen to people who more often say offensive phrases and compare you to others unfavorably, rather than speak words of support and approval?
  • And you want to listen to people who almost always say: “No, you can’t, it’s dangerous, you’ll fall, don’t touch it”...
  • And you want to listen to people who don’t pay any attention when you really behave impeccably. But they will always pay attention to the slightest mistake or oversight and point it out.
  • Or maybe you want to listen to people who ignore your requests and are busy talking with friends on the phone or watching TV without stopping, only answering now, now, wait, wait, and this is in the best case.
  • Or, perhaps, you want to listen to people who have long ago decided everything for you, when and what to do, where to go and where to sit, and even who you will be in the future, and now you can only dream of the mythical freedom of choice.


After all, a child is not at all a monster who comes to distract you from important matters. By the way, he even understands when he does something wrong, but sometimes this is the only way to attract attention to himself, to evoke very vivid emotions from his parents. He himself would be glad to do something for his beloved mother, but encountering a tedious and instructive mood, he simply cannot do as his mother asks in order to preserve his Self.

And, in my opinion, the most important factor, which is often not taken into account at all when debriefing naughty children: The child does not hear us and does not fulfill our requests when he sees an insubordinate and independent mother - he simply takes your example. If for every statement dad makes, mom has her own opinion and an argument against it, that is, mom doesn’t listen to dad, the child won’t listen.

And also, pay attention, do you listen to your own parents? Or do you argue with them all the time?

As you can see, behind banal disobedience there are many different reasons hidden. In fact, the reasons for disobedience lie not in the child at all, but in ourselves.

And, in fact, you don’t need to do anything with the child.

And what is the way out? Simple and at the same time complex in its implementation, requiring a way out of your own automatic reactions and awareness of your sometimes emotional actions and statements. Changing your own position in relation to the child: demanding, authoritarian and instructive - to a position open to dialogue and cooperation, accepting the child’s opinion: his desire to do something or, on the contrary, not to do something.

Never humiliate a child, listen to him, why he “closes his ears”, record your voice on a voice recorder - and listen to yourself, do you want to listen to such a person? Practice active listening, calmly explaining the child’s feelings to him (read more about this in the book by Yu.B. Gippenreiter “Communicate with a child. How?”).

Be a true woman who never argues with her husband and watches her speech. Only then will the child joyfully or out of a sense of duty hear and obey his parents.

And an excerpt from O.G. Torsunov’s lecture “Secrets of Education” will help you understand this topic even more deeply:

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Advice from a psychologist - punish without harm to the psyche

how to punish a child

Punishment should not cause any physical or psychological harm.

It should help the little man understand the consequences of his offense and draw appropriate conclusions in order to avoid mistakes in the future.

Therefore, when choosing a method of punishment, you need to follow these rules :

  1. Don't punish rashly
  2. If emotions are at their limit, then you urgently need to calm down: count to ten, go to another room for a couple of minutes, and more. When a person calms down, he assesses the situation more adequately.

  3. Punish lovingly
  4. The worst thing for a baby is not the action itself, but the fact that mom or dad may have stopped loving him. If he feels that his parents still love him, then the punishment is perceived as fair.

  5. It is necessary to clearly establish the boundaries of what is permitted , and then apply punishment
  6. That is, the child must clearly know why he will be punished. For example, a child in kindergarten took a toy from a friend. If his parents did not explain to him that he should not do this, then it is wrong to punish him. First we explain, next time we punish.

  7. It is not the child who needs to be punished, but his offense
  8. For example, he hit a neighbor's boy. He knows that this cannot be done. You figured out the situation and found out that your child is really to blame. When punishing him, you need to say that he is not bad, because he hit another, but he committed a bad deed.

  9. When punishing, it is necessary to clearly define the time interval
  10. For example, “sit down and sit on a chair for 5 minutes,” “tonight you will be left without watching a cartoon.” The phrases “No more cartoons”, “You’ll never get sweets” and the like are unacceptable.

  11. After punishment there must be reconciliation

It's good if you have your own ritual.

The most common problems of modern children and their parents

  • Parental authoritarianism

A huge number of children suffer from excessive pressure from their mother or father. It seems to us that by limiting the freedom of children, guiding them through life, we help our sons and daughters not to make the mistakes that we ourselves made.

  • Childish disobedience

Almost every married couple says that their child is disobedient or completely uncontrollable. First, a small child does not obey, then a teenager. This infuriates parents, as their usual way of life collapses.

  • Controversial Parenting

If one parent spoils the child and indulges all his whims, and the other keeps him “with a tight rein.” As a result, the child develops a misconception about the family. He begins to think that mom is good and dad is bad or vice versa.

  • Cruelty of a family member

This is the most serious problem of interpersonal relationships in the family. If one of the parents is prone to outbursts of anger and applies a wide range of punishments, then the child grows up depressed and intimidated.

  • Hypersocializing parenting

Characterized by parents' fixation on the successes and failures of their children. In such families, people grow up with “excellent student syndrome” - the desire to do everything perfectly. If the result was not achieved, the person becomes upset, begins to blame himself, and falls into harsh, unfounded self-criticism.

  • Education according to the type of increased moral responsibility

Parents place excessive demands on their child that do not correspond to his current age.

  • Problems of family relationships in a single-parent family

As the name suggests, they are found in families where the father and mother are divorced, or the parents separated before the birth of the heir. The child may blame himself for this separation, and at a more conscious age take on the role of an absent parent.

When to start?

how to punish a child
At what age should a child take responsibility for his own behavior?

There is an opinion that it is impossible to punish children under 3 years of age.

It is based on the fact that until this age the child does not know how to build cause-and-effect relationships.

If a toy breaks, he understands that it does not work, but does not realize that he himself or some of his actions were the culprit. Therefore, he will not understand why he is being punished.

However, this does not mean that you can allow your baby everything. It’s just that in case of his misconduct, it is necessary to explain to him what cannot be done so that it does not happen again.

If a small child demands something that cannot be done, they try to divert his attention to something else. Letting your child know what is possible and what is not is necessary as early as possible.

What is possible and what is not?

A child’s actions cannot be too limited by prohibitions. If everything is prohibited, then how will he explore the world? In such cases, children grow up dependent and lacking initiative.

Expert opinion

Lisova Alina Viktorovna – teacher

Teacher-psychologist at a private development center

However, for a deliberate violation of previously established rules, the agreed punishment should be applied. For example, say “if you call the children in kindergarten bad names, you won’t get sweets for dinner.”

The child violated this rule, which means you don’t give sweets for dinner, no matter how much he asks. The rest of the family should also not violate the punishment, otherwise the child will not understand that this cannot be done.

From the point of view of many psychologists, it is necessary to punish for:

  • Insults, especially towards elders.
  • Lie.
  • However, it is worth distinguishing between lies used to achieve some result and fantasy, which children are prone to. Fantasies will go away as you grow older.

    It is important that parents themselves do not lie and do not teach them to lie. Lying should not be encouraged.

  • Physical violence.
  • Do you often punish your child?

    Not really

    The child must understand that such behavior is not acceptable, even if the parents allow it, others will not tolerate it.

    It is important that parents do not encourage the use of force against weaker children or animals.

  • Demonstrative violation of established rules of behavior.
  • If a child accidentally breaks some rules, it’s not scary. When he knows that he should not do this, but still does it without an objective reason, then this behavior must be corrected.

  • Theft. It must be severely punished.

What cannot be punished for:

When you can’t tolerate it anymore: how to punish a child for bad behavior?

  • When a child is hyperactive, he shows restlessness and cannot concentrate on something for a long time.
  • In this case, there is no point in punishing him. This is his peculiarity.

  • And vice versa - the child is slow, does everything slowly, does not have time
  • This often irritates parents, but there is no need to scold or rush him, it will not bring any benefit.

  • The child learns about the world and is active
  • Adults are often annoyed by the high activity of children: they run a lot, jump, make noise, and play around. These actions are most often associated not with annoying adults, but with the need to learn about the world around us. This is their natural behavior.

  • Some actions caused by the child’s physiological characteristics or diseases
  • For example, a child does not like fish or milk; there is no need to force him to eat or punish him for refusing. Or the child has enuresis and described the bed. Scolding him will only make the problem worse. He didn't do it intentionally.

  • Actions caused by negligence. For example, I accidentally dropped and broke a cup
  • The child cannot yet clearly perform all the actions, and adults are often careless.

  • Manifestation of feelings - jealousy, reluctance to part with parents, uncertainty, reluctance to share, etc.

There is no need to punish for this. Later, they will definitely develop a more mature self-awareness, they will learn to solve complex social problems, and will be able to manage their emotions.

You don’t know how to teach a child to talk at 3 years old? Or how to instill a love for nature in a preschooler? Or you just can’t teach your baby to sleep in his crib. Then we advise you to read the materials at our links, they contain answers to all these questions.?

How to be strict without losing trust?

When using punishment in parenting, the main thing is not to overdo it, so as not to lose the love and trust of your baby. To do this, you need to adhere to the following principles:

When you can’t tolerate it anymore: how to punish a child for bad behavior?

  1. Don't impose too many restrictions
  2. Give your child room to explore

  3. Requirements should be age-appropriate
  4. Don't ask for something he can't remember or do yet.

  5. Before you punish, you need to understand the situation
  6. If the child was punished, then be sure to make peace with him afterwards.
  7. Explain your position, remind him that you love him no matter what.

  8. Children should not be humiliated or insulted

It is important for mothers of babies to know - at what age does a child hold his head?

What to do if a child is nervous and disobedient, stops obeying at 2 years old or becomes uncontrollable at 3? Let's figure it out together

Why is spanking not recommended?

Many parents like to spank their children on the bottom or hands. However, such punishment is rarely effective. Why? If you spank your child weakly, he will more likely perceive it as a game.

Expert opinion

Lisova Alina Viktorovna – teacher

Teacher-psychologist at a private development center

He may even specifically ask for such punishment in order to attract attention. After all, such a slap does not bring pain. Only very young children of 1-2 years old can perceive it as a prohibition, if they make the appropriate face.

If you spank so hard that it hurts, then this is physical violence. Although some parents use such punishment and even cruelly punish disobedient children with a belt.

They justify this by saying that the child does not understand otherwise. However, by justifying physical violence to any degree, parents acknowledge their own helplessness.

Violence breeds response. The child will decide that a stronger person can offend a weak one, and will take it out on someone who is weaker, for example, another child or an animal.

In addition, the constant expectation of physical pain causes psychological harm to the baby.

Therefore, if parents do not want to lose the trust of their child, then it is worth using other methods of education than physical punishment.

What to do?

How to be? How to survive with a one-year-old?

  1. Of course, first of all, organize the space in your home. As much as possible. Close all restricted boxes with lockers. Hide the wires. Remove all chairs and stools from the room (if the toddler is already able to climb on them).
  2. Distract your child from the forbidden. Yes, sometimes it's quite difficult. It seems that the child does not need anything except your computer... But over time, you begin to understand how best to do this.
  3. If you can’t distract, just take the child away. Pull away from restricted areas. I hope you don't have too many of them? Pull it away until the baby gets tired of it. Do this calmly and without irritation.

My son loves to climb on the windowsill and walk on it. I do not like it. It is impossible to remove access to the window sill; he climbs onto it using the sofa, which cannot be moved. I know that saying “you can’t” is completely pointless.

So I just take my son off the windowsill and put him on the floor, in the opposite corner of the room. My son immediately climbs onto the sofa again, climbs onto the windowsill again... I calmly remove him again. After 20 minutes my son gets tired of this game.

Some games don't get boring even after 40 minutes. But as a rule, after 20-30 minutes it’s easier to transfer the baby’s attention to something else. Offer him a new interesting game... No one forbids you to explain why you are forced to remove your son from the windowsill.

But the correct position is not irritation, but some compulsion. I love you, I'm not angry, but I have to move you to another corner of the room.

Yes, a child does not always perceive such actions as a fun game. My son usually gets angry when I don't let him climb somewhere. This is fine. You are required to:

  • feel sorry for the child if he is upset;
  • show him your love;
  • stay calm;
  • allow him to express his feelings;
  • as a last resort - distract.

Rules for parents

When choosing a punishment, it is recommended to follow these rules for parents:

    Do you manage to remain calm while punishing your child?

    No Yes

  • Do not cause physical or psychological harm to the child
  • Punish only for the offense committed, and not for prevention
  • For several violations committed at once, one punishment is imposed for all at once
  • Do not deprive your child of previously given items or promised rewards if this has not been discussed immediately
  • Don't blackmail, don't manipulate his feelings
  • Punishment must be determined in advance
  • It is necessary to punish immediately after the violation is committed, and not after some time

After punishment, there is no need to constantly remember the child’s offense.

Modern parents are increasingly faced with hyperactivity syndrome. How a hyperactive child behaves and what parents should do, read the material at our link.

What to do with an uncontrollable baby? Advice for parents.

What a pity that there is no ambulance for parents. One to dial the coveted numbers, and now rescuers are rushing with the siren on: “Wee-whee-whee!” Well, let's look at how to do it on your own.

What to do if a child at 3 years old does not obey and is hysterical? Psychologist's advice to parents of uncontrollable children
When the baby turns 3 years old, parents face completely new difficulties.

How to quickly calm down

If the storm has already broken out, then practically nothing. All that remains is to wait it out, ensuring safe conditions. If the storm is just approaching, then you can try to capture the baby’s attention, turn it to yourself, sing a song, tell something funny, so that he relaxes in your arms.

How to deal with screaming and tantrums in public places

What to do if a child at 3 years old does not obey and is hysterical? Psychologist's advice to parents of uncontrollable children

It is advisable to calculate such situations in advance. Most likely, your little man is not yet ready to endure so many irritants at the same time - objects, spaces, smells, sounds, strangers.

Yes, all this is terribly interesting, but there is so much of it! The load on the psyche is too great, which means the likelihood of a breakdown is too .

If it is necessary to go shopping together, then we will take safety measures in advance: we will put our favorite calming toy in our backpack, we will pick him up more often, talk more, explain more, try to remain in the center of his attention - this will make it easier for him to remain calm.

How to negotiate

Don't try to appeal to reason when everyone is agitated and panicking. This will only add to your grief. Your words will not be heard. You can discuss what happened later, when everything is over, and try to avoid accusations so as not to strain the relationship, which is already suffering.

Expert opinion

Klimenko Natalya Gennadievna – psychologist

Practicing psychologist at the municipal antenatal clinic

Say everything that happened, calling all the emotions by name: oh, how angry you were today! And I really wanted to help you. What do you think you and I could do next time we feel angry? It is difficult to consider this a real agreement, because the child cannot be responsible for his impulses, and quarrels will happen. But at least you and he will have guidelines, markers that will make it a little easier to get out of the storm.

From the following video you will learn how you can calm a child's tantrum in 2 minutes:

Punishment options

how to punish a child
Let's consider several options for how to punish a child for bad behavior and disobedience.

  1. Deprive a child of pleasure
  2. As punishment, you can deprive the child of what he loves for a certain time: watching cartoons, playing on the computer, eating sweets, and more.

  3. Place the child in a special punishment chair for a certain time so that he thinks about his behavior
  4. A variation of this punishment is to put him in a corner. However, this option is not desirable, because it causes the muscles of the legs and back to be tense, and this state is not conducive to thinking.

  5. If the child does not want to collect toys, put them away so that he cannot get them
  6. Don’t give it for a while, let him promise that he will collect it next time. Discuss the punishment for violation. For example, he will not be able to play with toys for one day. If you break a rule, be sure to punish it as agreed.

  7. Comic punishments for minor offenses are possible: sit down 10 times , repeat a rule several times, for older children - write this rule several times
  8. The main thing is to give real tasks that the child can complete.

  9. Another recommended method is not suitable for every parent: allowing the child to draw his own conclusions from breaking the rules
  10. For example, allow him to get wet in a puddle and catch a cold, do not forbid hitting other children, and then no one will want to be friends with him.

  11. Ignoring a child

You have to be careful with this punishment. After all, prolonged neglect can cause psychological harm to a child. But if you refuse to play with him for a while because of bad behavior, then this will serve as a lesson to him.

How to raise your child, whether to punish him or not, and how exactly, each parent decides independently. However, it must be taken into account that the child needs to be able to live and adapt in society. Therefore, it is necessary for all children to adhere to certain accepted social norms. Parents decide how to instill these rules in them.

The real reasons for tantrums


Lyudmila Vladimirovna PetranovskayaLyudmila Vladimirovna Petranovskaya
Perhaps you have read the books of L. Petranovskaya, and remember that if a child at 3 years old does not obey, then he has a reason for this.

Most negative experiences in childhood are associated with fear due to disruptions in communication with a significant adult.

Attachment is the strongest instinct that guides our social behavior.

It manifests itself in all animals from the moment of birth, and therefore there is no need to teach newly hatched ducklings to follow the heels of a duck, or a newborn baby to smile at a familiar face.

A three-year-old child is no exception, despite the fact that he may attack his loved ones or show disobedience. He hurts them, but he doesn’t want to be left without them, their love and care.

This is actually a cry for help. It is a huge mistake to regard such behavior as a desire to break the connection. In his impulses, he remains immature and extremely dependent; moreover, he himself does not perceive them as a conflict with his parents, because he does not yet have experience of being separated from them.

For him, his behavior is like rain, which naturally pours on him and everyone around him, and the reaction of others is not in a cause-and-effect relationship, and their response to heart-rending screams or broken dishes will be perceived as a sudden and completely undeserved attack .

Try to stop fighting with your child and listen to his condition.

Why doesn't a 2 year old child listen?

Let's figure out what goals can be achieved if we use punishment.

Are punishments necessary?

Why does he behave this way and what can be done about it?

The baby is nervous and naughty

Dedicated to all desperate adult 4-year-old robbers...

“He became simply uncontrollable!”

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