How to raise a boy: emotions
One day scientists conducted an experiment. They dressed the baby in pink and blue onesies, and then asked passers-by in the park to babysit the baby. One pattern was observed in the behavior of the “nannies”: if the baby was mistaken for a girl, they addressed him with much more affectionate words and smiles. And if they thought that in front of them was a boy, then the participants in the experiment showed their feelings more restrained - especially the men. Thus, psychologists have clearly demonstrated the existence of one of the most common misconceptions associated with the difference in the upbringing of boys and girls. For some reason, many mothers and most fathers believe that you should not allow yourself “calf tenderness” and “lisping” with your son. Allegedly, in this case, a real man will not grow out of him. But in reality, everything is exactly the opposite! It has been proven that among healthy babies of both sexes, boys are still born weaker, and they sometimes need affection to a greater extent than girls. In other words, in order for your son to grow up healthy and develop well, you need to kiss him, hug him as much as possible, and talk about your love. It is simply impossible to spoil a peasant with such treatment!
How to raise a boy to be a real man?
How to raise a boy: clothes
Of course, we won’t dress our sons in dresses. But during the first months of life, girls will not need them either. Until almost a year, the wardrobe of boys and girls differs only in color. Although even at this time, the little boys do not have to buy exclusively blue rompers and blouses. Treat yourself and your baby with clothes in all shades of the rainbow. Perhaps only pink is perceived as a “feminine” color. Recently, children's clothing manufacturers have been moving away from former stereotypes, and clothing for little men delights us with the brightness of colors. Don't be afraid of cheerful colors - infancy flies by so quickly... As sons grow older, they will have a much smaller choice of colors in their wardrobe. In general, clothes for boys are more democratic and practical than for girls. Firstly, the dress is not so easy to put on, because a child is not a doll. Secondly, if the children get dirty, then the boy just needs to change either shorts or a T-shirt. But the dress needs to be washed completely. For a matinee in kindergarten, you can dress a little gentleman in a white shirt and a formal suit with a bow tie. And having learned from your neighbor how much her daughter’s ball gown costs, you will breathe a sigh of relief that these expenses did not affect you.
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Psychological development of boys. consultation on the topic
Psychological development of boys.
Advice for parents on raising their sons.
This is our greatest problem - we look at boys as some kind of clockwork machines that create constant, annoying noise and at the same time do not require any care, communication, or participation from their parents. In fact, in the soul of every little boy there secretly lives a hero - a little Huck Finn or Tarzan, who is just waiting to show his physical strength in a battle with a powerful enemy, as well as to receive approval and recognition of his uniqueness.
Girls and boys use very different approaches to establishing relationships with other people. Even before the moment of birth, boys show great physical activity. Already in the eighth month of pregnancy, testosterone appears in their blood; from this moment those physiological changes that are characteristic of boys begin. Newborn girls' attention is directed to faces and sounds, while newborn boys are most attracted to moving objects. Boys' speech skills develop more slowly, but many parents notice how accurately they imitate sounds such as the sound of a motor, much earlier than they try to reproduce words. In the process of speech development, almost all the sounds that girls make are, as a rule, aimed at establishing verbal communication, while boys have no more than 40 percent of such sounds; everything else is different noises.
When children begin to play with blocks, boys build much larger, taller structures that take up more space, while girls build toy houses where one doll can invite another to tea. Boys are drawn to toys such as trucks and play in the sandbox, while girls are attracted to wardrobes or doll houses.
Boys quickly become stronger—their muscle mass is on average 30 percent greater than that of girls. They have more red blood cells and feel the need for more physical activity. But their mental abilities develop more slowly, and the number of connections between the left and right hemispheres does not increase so quickly. (This is the reason why boys' language skills develop more slowly than girls', and why men's recovery from stroke is slower in old age!)
Boys' brains mature more slowly than girls', so they cannot adapt to school as quickly. Scientific research also suggests that slow starts can create difficulties for boys over a period of years. Therefore, even if parents feel that their child is behaving antisocially or exhibiting intellectual immaturity, sometimes they should be patient and just wait.
The best research shows that healthy social development for both boys and girls requires the presence of two parents - a man and a woman. The reason for this is that there are fundamental differences between the sexes, so both the father and mother influence the child's personality in different ways. Attempts to smooth out these differences can only cause confusion in the child and interfere with the correct development of his personality. The following chapters will go into more detail about the role of the father, the role of the mother, how they can help each other, and what happens when a child is raised by a single parent.
A child needs both roots and wings. It receives its roots thanks to a strong attachment to its mother in the first years of life, and its wings thanks to the education and training that can be given by a father, a close and dear person who introduces the child to the big open world. Mothers teach us to lean on the ground in order to feel protected, while fathers teach us to strive for the stars and bravely confront a hostile world!
Biologically, boys, as if by nature themselves, are designed for struggle, competition, and they like it.
It is a test of their strength, abilities and energy, which brings the boys a lot of joy and teaches many valuable life lessons.
Boys also have rich emotional lives, and we need to make an effort to protect them in this regard. Even at a very young age, by giving boys the opportunity to understand their emotions, we will help them make their lives spiritually richer, and their connections with the people around them much stronger and, in addition, we will teach them to effectively resist the troubles that happen in life.
Evidence suggests that boys and men tend not to express their feelings as strongly as girls. Sometimes they may even seem insensitive. But boys do this to protect themselves, so if they are treated as insensitive, they become so. Boys need us parents to teach them how to understand their feelings and help them identify their hidden ideas about what causes those feelings.
There are two special points that will help you in raising your sons. If you use them, they will become your allies in this journey along the roads of education.
The first point is that if you show the boy that you have a plan, he will feel more secure. There are no special details or instructions required here, just a general plan that he can follow.
The second point: the boy will remain faithful to the one who made it clear to him that he believes in him. Believe in your son - and everything will be fine for him. His boyish soul needs your faith in his abilities and strength of character like air.
How to raise a boy: toys
You should not limit yourself to various types of weapons and a fleet of cars, tractors and motorcycles. Probably, many parents will remember with what pleasure their sons pushed strollers while visiting the girls. Do you really think that from birth boys have an inherent need to play exclusively with “male” toys? Let me cite as an example a textbook case from pedagogical literature. On one of the islands in the Pacific Ocean, a tribe was discovered that was far from civilization. Researchers who studied the lives of Aboriginal people gave toys to the children. At first, both boys and girls became interested in dolls, cars, and pistols. But after some time, the toys were clearly divided: boys played with... dolls, and girls played with cars and pistols. Why? It turns out that matriarchy reigned in this tribe, and for women the main occupation was hunting, and for men - raising children. Our society has a different way of life, and children copy it. The task of parents is to diversify children's games. Do not rush to refuse dolls that are offered to you by friends whose daughters have already grown up. A doll is a fairly universal toy, and not only girls need it. By playing with a doll, a child learns to get along with other children; using the example of a doll, he seems to be acting out his own behavior. Also toys that are often ignored by parents of boys include toy furniture, dishes, kitchen utensils, and puppets. They are also needed for the development of my son. Special talk about toy weapons. Some fathers and mothers try not to buy shooters for their sons at all, trying to protect their children from aggressiveness. Indeed, in the modern world, children are surrounded by a lot of evil, and the boys themselves are more reckless by nature. But since it is impossible to completely protect the baby from military toys, your task is to teach children how to play correctly. When purchasing a toy, try to ensure that the gift stimulates not aggression in the child, but sports passion. Having chosen a gun with balls (voluminous but light) and a target, arrange a shooting accuracy competition. In summer, the best option is a water pistol. As for cars, it is better to buy plastic ones. Children like metal ones more, but they are not safe for babies, as they are too heavy. And older boys have an irresistible desire to take them apart in order to get a good look at what’s inside? Don't scold the kids for this. Want to keep everything safe? To do this, fathers of young auto mechanics need to put things aside and start disassembling and assembling cars together with their children.
How to raise a boy to be a real man
How to raise your son correctly from birth
It is worthwhile to raise a child, starting from his birth. Let us roughly divide this process into two stages.
From birth to age six
During this period, boys feel a special attachment to their mother - over time, this connection will weaken a little, but now it is especially strong. Of course, the father now also plays a significant role, but often it is the mother who comes to the fore.
The best thing you can do in this time period (from birth to six years) is to show your child that he is loved and protected from any external adversity. During these years, the baby receives his first inspiration, beginning to show interest in various activities, experiences the formation of character, and much more. It is important for him to feel the support of those closest to him, and you should demonstrate it.
From age six to fourteen
A difficult stage in a child’s growing up. During this period, the boy learns to be a man. Now he is no longer drawn to his mother, but to his father - he tries to imitate him in many ways, shows interest in his hobbies, tries to be like him. Of course, the connection with the mother is still strong, but the influence of the father becomes more significant. If a boy grows up without a dad, he tries to find a role model in another man - a grandfather, uncle, teacher, family friend, and so on.
During this period, it is important to raise the child in such a way that his personality is fully developed - increase his level of knowledge, support his desire for new useful endeavors, and, as before, demonstrate your support and attention.
What psychologists say about raising a boy
According to many psychologists, until school age, the gender of the child does not matter much, so during this period you should not concentrate too much on it. Children during these years are very attached to their parents - often they have a slightly closer connection with their mother. During this period, it is very important for the baby to receive sufficient attention from the family and to feel the care of loved ones. Give your child a sense of security in order to avoid the development of feelings of anxiety and aggression in him. If your son feels important and loved, this will protect him from unnecessary worries and allow him to concentrate on something else - a craving for new knowledge, interaction with the world around him.
How to raise a boy: living space
Blue, green, and turquoise colors should predominate in the nursery. Their energy balances the activity and impulsiveness of children. If your son is phlegmatic or melancholic by nature, add yellow and orange colors to the interior. If children have their own room, try to make it comfortable and safe. For boys, the most natural thing is a noisy game. Remove anything that restricts mobility (for example, mirrors, bedside tables, ottomans). Set aside a place for a sports corner (gymnastics complex, rope ladders, hanging ropes). This way, the kids’ energy will be directed in the right direction.
How to raise a boy: sports
A very obedient boy - the pride of his parents in the first years of his life. But it is unlikely that such a child will be able to become a full-fledged member of children's games. Stiffness leads either to lethargy and apathy, or to aggressiveness. Let your boys have fun! What to do if your son grows up uncontrollable and pugnacious? Give vent to his aggressively directed energy. Enroll the brawler in a sports section where he can realize his potential. Do not waste time on such useful endeavors. Sport is a long-term and profitable investment, both in terms of physical development and character improvement. You can rest assured about your son when your child grows up. Difficulties of adolescence, dubious company - everything that is a real danger in the future will not affect your son if he is seriously interested in sports.
How to raise a boy: a sense of humor
A cheerful person is a happy person. Usually the ability to joke is inherited, but a sense of humor can also be developed. Read funny poems and stories to children. Turn trivial grievances and whims into jokes. Look at various life situations with humor - your kids will very soon begin to follow your example. Laughter is a natural and organic manifestation of a child’s feelings. A boy with a good sense of humor is always popular among his peers. In addition, as a rule, he is in good health (as a result of positive emotions).
How to raise a boy: fathers and sons
Many mothers complain that their husbands do not want to raise children. This means that the time was lost when dads should have realized themselves as such. Fathers are not born - they become fathers if there is a wise woman nearby. Your task is, even during pregnancy, to lead your spouse to the idea that he has a leading role in raising a real man. The most important thing is that father-son interaction should begin in the first days of life, and not at 3-4 years, as many new dads believe. The key to successfully mastering fatherhood is your faith in your spouse’s teaching abilities. When the son is still tiny, there is no need to expect initiative from the head of the family. It is better to gently and quietly introduce a rule for him to perform some duty of care for the newborn, for example, bathing the child. The worst thing that can permanently discourage a dad from caring for his baby is constant monitoring and worry that he will do something wrong. Cast aside your fears and leave your men (big and small) alone with each other. In this situation, dads have a sharp increase in responsibility for their entrusted child. Encourage dads to take the initiative to spend free time with their sons. And don't blame them for the mess that arises as a result of such joint activities. Building a tower from blocks, learning to ride a bicycle or roller skates - joint games unusually unite little men and big children - dads. Grown-up helpers will be interested in repairing a car in the garage on equal terms with dad, going fishing, playing football, and washing in a bathhouse. Show respect for “men’s” matters. The result will be the father-son bond that all mothers dream of. If you and your whole family go to the pool, don’t hesitate to send the boys and dad to the men’s shower. It is very strange to see 5-6 year old boys under the care of their mother in a woman’s shower.
Step-by-step education of a boy - tips for parents
Psychology of a 2 year old child
If until the age of one and a half children are often raised the same way, without making distinctions between the sexes, then by the age of two this changes. Now he begins to clearly understand his gender identity and behaves accordingly. Psychologists recommend being more tolerant of children at this age - they are trying to test the limits of what is permitted, and sometimes they behave far from ideally. Every parent is recommended to be prepared for this period, and under no circumstances beat the child for his pranks, so as not to provoke in him a feeling of uselessness and embitterment.
A two-year-old boy not only walks well, but also strives for various active manifestations - running, jumping, and so on. Babies learn a sense of balance, so you shouldn’t interfere with their physical development by constantly pulling them or holding them in your arms.
A two-year-old child develops a desire to be useful - for example, to somehow help his mother in the kitchen. Be sure to encourage these desires, thereby letting the child understand that his participation is important and necessary, otherwise in the future he will probably have to deal with his son’s idleness and his inability to cope with everyday life. And in general, complete protection from household work will not bring anything good.
Despite the fact that at this age the child, as before, needs your attention, you should not be overprotective and demand more from him than he himself can and wants to achieve. Of course, we are not talking about basic skills, but there is no need to scold a two-year-old child who is not able to learn a few English words, even if his neighbor the same age already confidently speaks a foreign language in entire sentences. Realize that everyone develops individually, and perhaps in a couple of years the gifted neighbor’s child will not be able to keep up with your son in some other skills.
How to raise a boy at 3-4 years old
Many parents try to show less affection towards their 3 or 4 year old son, fearing that they will turn him into a “nurse”. Do not forget that even at this age the boy remains a child who needs your care, support and tenderness. Don’t make fun of his fears by saying that “real men don’t behave like that” - in this case, you will make the baby withdrawn and unsure of himself. If he is afraid of something, calmly explain to him why his fears are groundless.
Now your son is developing emotionality, and you may have a desire to “dumb it down.” Often at this stage, parents require children to restrain their emotions - that is, to suppress them. It is better to go a different way: teach the boy to show emotions correctly, and not hide them.
Try to devote a lot of time to development, enroll him in some kind of club so that he gradually gets used to being surrounded by his peers - then the transition to school age will be smoother.
What to pay attention to when your son is already 5-6 years old
At this age, many boys lay the foundation for their behavior for the coming years. It is necessary at this time to pay special attention to the development of masculine qualities in the son, while not forgetting to give him care and attention. If a boy grows up in a complete family, during this period the influence of the father is very significant - he becomes a kind of guide for the child. Dad should talk to the baby more often and pay attention to his physical development - otherwise he may grow up withdrawn and uncommunicative.
At this age, children are especially interested in toys that embody male professions - construction or fire trucks, a set of tools, and the like. Boys aged 5-6 years begin to actively develop an attitude towards the opposite sex - it should be explained to him that girls are weaker than them and need protection. Ideally, a model of such behavior should be a father who takes care of his mother.
Still a child, but already a personality - how to raise an 8-year-old boy
The eight-year-old child is no longer as close to his parents as before - he has begun to move away a little. The family needs to show maximum patience and tact in order to build a trusting relationship with the little schoolchild; avoid excessive guardianship - this threatens that in the future he will be completely dependent and acquire a passive attitude towards life. Give your child a little freedom and assign him some simple tasks - clean his shoes, wipe the table, pour water for the cat, and so on.
Despite the fact that your son is already going to school, it cannot be said that his psyche has already fully strengthened - he needs an adviser, he is waiting for support and encouragement in certain situations. Of course, it is desirable that the child finds this support in his parents. Try to talk to your son more often, without suppressing his opinion. Don’t raise your tone and don’t babysit – talk to him like an adult, take an interest in his life at school, his impressions of something. At this age, it is important for a boy to be seen as an individual.
How to raise a boy: mothers and sons
1. Mom is “your guy” If as a child you treated playing with dolls with contempt, then the birth of sons was most likely perceived as a gift of fate. But when you completely dissolve in your sons, you forget about yourself as a woman. And for growing children it is so important to see their mother beautiful. After all, it is with the image of the mother that their ideas about the ideal woman are connected. Advice: dedicate the day off only to yourself, leaving your sons with your husband or grandparents. Go shopping, go to the hairdresser.
2. Uncle Fyodor’s mother Like the heroine of the cartoon “Three from Prostokvashino,” you consider yourself an exemplary mother, because your child is “clothed, shod, and fed.” Childish fun seems too tiresome to you to participate in. Let dad play with the baby. But the son can be proud: he has a beautiful, well-groomed mother. But the child misses communication with you! Talk to your child about his activities and friends, discuss what he is passionate about (for example, different brands of cars).
3. Mom is an older friend It would not occur to such a mother that she must bear the burden of household chores on her own - she has excellent helpers. Mom always has time to talk with her sons, read to them, and make some kind of craft. All children dream of such a mother... And every woman has the power to become her!
Proper raising of a son - instructions for moms and dads
- Read and study the necessary literature about raising children.
The more literature you read about raising children, the more prepared you will be for the various surprises that children sometimes demonstrate. Do not neglect such manuals - they often contain really effective advice on how to raise a real man. - Men's education of boys using the personal example of their father.
If a boy grows up in a complete family, then the father should be especially attentive to his son, as well as to his own behavior and emotions. Remember that the boy copies his dad in many ways. - Show maximum patience, perseverance and love.
Try to show your child more often that you love him. Many problems in children's behavior arise due to the fact that they do not feel enough attention from their parents and want to attract it. - Be your child's best friend and teach him.
When raising a child, remember that he needs not only a mentor, but also a friend. A trusting relationship between a son and his parents is established very early - it is difficult to make up for this in his adolescence or adulthood. - Engage in your child’s leisure activities (hobbies, activities).
Make sure that your baby is fully developed and finds a hobby - do not ignore his craving for certain activities. If the boy is not particularly interested in anything, try to interest him in some hobby yourself - this will help develop organization and many other positive qualities in him.
