A 2 year old child is afraid of the potty, what should I do?

What to do if your child is afraid of the potty

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October 9, 2014 | views: 3,294

Very often, young children who have started using the potty one day begin to protest and throw tantrums as soon as the time comes to make a “pee-pee” or “ah-ah”. The parents of such kids are completely bewildered, because just recently they were proudly telling their friends that their little one had coped with such a difficult task and learned to go to the potty. So why does a child begin to be afraid of the potty? In our article we will try to find the reasons why your baby has changed his attitude towards this seemingly familiar activity, and we will also help you find a way out of the current situation.

Overzealousness

The most common reason that a child is afraid to go to the potty is the excessive desire of parents to teach their child to relieve themselves “as expected.” Having listened to numerous advisers, mothers begin to potty train their baby almost by force, which, of course, causes stress in the baby and this leads to the fact that the child begins to scream and be capricious every time he tries to sit him on the potty. Remember that it is better to put off potty training for a while than to injure the baby every time by forcing him to pee or poop. There is a time for everything, and in this way you will only ensure that your child will be afraid to go to the potty.

They just didn’t have time to “get to know each other”

Very often, a child is afraid to go to the potty because he is simply wary of any new objects. Therefore, before putting your baby on the potty, introduce him to the “future friend”, tell him what he is needed for, leave him in the most visible place so that the child can get used to the presence of the potty and stop being afraid of him. Next, you can somehow play up the moment of going to the toilet, “put some toy on the potty,” and then offer the baby to do the same. Let him just sit there without taking off his pants, since a smooth and unusual surface for the body can greatly frighten the baby, and he will stop going to the potty.

Stress due to illness

A child may be afraid to go to the potty because he has suffered a severe stomach upset or constipation and now going to the toilet is associated with unpleasant sensations. In this case, you should not put pressure on the baby, but rather wait a while, perhaps the fear will go away on its own. Another way out of this situation is to purchase a new potty, which will not be associated with the stress experienced by the baby and, perhaps, after this, he will stop being afraid. But if you realize that this child’s behavior is becoming protracted, you should still contact a specialist in the field of child psychology.

How to deal with fear?

If you notice that your child has become afraid to go to the potty, first of all, you need to find out the reason for this behavior of the baby. Talk to your baby, perhaps he himself will tell you about what scared him so much. Don’t yell at your child and try to avoid stressful situations in the family, as they can be the reason that a completely independent child suddenly begins to pee and be afraid of the potty. Never try to use force or scold your child for stopping going to the potty. By doing this you will only strengthen his negative attitude towards this process.

Do not scold your child the next time he “makes a puddle,” as this will not bring any benefit at all. Try to explain to him why this should not be done and that he should still reconsider his attitude towards the potty. Some babies need privacy, so if your child says that he cannot go to the toilet in front of you, leave him alone for a while, perhaps you mistook the child’s shyness for fear. Believe me, after you establish the cause, finding a way out of the situation will become much easier.

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Main causes of fear

In fact, if the situation with a child’s refusal to sit on the potty continues systematically and parents understand that these are not banal whims, then it is worth thinking about the child’s fear of the potty. Why such fears arise can only be understood by carefully analyzing the situation.

The main reasons for such fears include the following factors:

• Early potty training, when the baby is not yet ready to sit on it and relieve “need” in this way on a physiological level. If we consider that the area of ​​the brain that is responsible for urination and defecation and their retention matures around the age of 1.5-2.5 years, then it is absolutely futile to demand that a child know how to use a potty at an earlier age, especially consciously. The only thing that is possible at this age is to prepare the child for the upcoming new way of going to the toilet. To do this, you can use the potty as a toy, allow him to look at it, do some acceptable manipulations with it, and try to catch the baby at the moment when he wants to go to the toilet in order to sit him on the potty. The main requirement for such training is unobtrusiveness. It is the persistent behavior of parents that can cause or aggravate existing fears. In the future, this will turn into a big problem when the baby refuses to use the potty completely.
• The baby is afraid of the potty only because this object is unfamiliar to him. It often happens that the first sitting on it occurs abruptly and without prior preparation. If, on his first acquaintance with him, the baby feels how cold or slippery he is, then this may well become a cause of fear.
• Fears immediately before the acts of defecation and urination. Often, the inadequate and rude reaction of adults to the fact that the child did not have time to reach the potty becomes the main reason for the emergence of fear. In such a situation, the baby will delay the urge, which can cause constipation. This situation can also befall a child in a preschool, so parents should take care in advance to slowly introduce the child to the potty, toilet, and toilet paper at home before enrolling them in kindergarten.
• Frequent constipation in a child and painful bowel movements can cause fears about the potty. If this problem is not corrected in a timely manner, the child may develop the opinion that unpleasant or even painful sensations are associated specifically with the potty and the moment when he sits on it. In this regard, the baby may develop so-called psychological constipation, which cannot be treated with medication, but requires contacting a psychologist.
• Insufficient psychological contact between parents and their child, lack of moral support and excessive demands on a child who is still too young. When adults constantly shame a child, force him to sit on the potty for hours and do not praise him for successful attempts to relieve himself on him, this can not only cause children’s fears, but also deprive the child of independence.
• One’s own fantasies that someone might live in the toilet or potty and grab the child’s bottom while relieving himself, or that he will be washed down the sewer pipe along with the drained water, can become the reason for the emergence of children’s fears. In this situation, you need to explain to the baby why you need to flush the water into the toilet, convince him that there is no one in the potty and toilet, talking to him in a confidential and calm tone.
• Shyness also quite often becomes the reason for refusing a new toilet item, especially if the child is not allowed privacy during the act of defecation or urination. This situation can be corrected if you create comfortable conditions for the baby, where he can remain on his own while relieving himself.

At what age should a child be potty trained?

It is impossible to answer this question unequivocally. We can say that it depends on whose point of view the mother takes on such a matter. Today there are three answer options, all of them differ from each other, have justification and right to exist. In general, the choice is up to the parents.

The first point of view is expressed by supporters of natural parenthood. They practice “planting” the baby from the first days of his life, and claim that subsequently their babies do not have problems with the potty.

The second option, which is welcomed by people of the older generation, our mothers and grandmothers, is a classic of Soviet education. Followers of this movement are confident that as soon as a child learns to sit well on his own, he must be introduced to the potty. At the same time, the baby’s age is a little more than six months.

The third group, the most common today, includes modern pediatricians and child psychologists who believe that a child should be potty trained at an age when he is able to control his excretory functions. At the same time, they call it a fairly “respectable” age - no earlier than one and a half to two years.

Until the baby learns to control his physiology, potty training can turn into a labor-intensive, nervous process, the result of which with a high degree of probability may be a fear of the child's potty.

How to overcome childhood fear of the potty?

So, you have looked at the reasons for such a delicate phenomenon and identified exactly the one that influenced your child’s behavior. How to help a child get rid of fear and instill a love for “potty” activities?

1. The most important thing is not to scold your baby or use force to force him to go potty. By such actions you will only aggravate the problem and increase his negativity towards hygiene skills.
2. To forget the unpleasant situation, leave the little one alone, put the pot out of sight (or throw it away). Don’t mention him, don’t blame him for the fact that the baby has returned to diapers again. At this stage, you need to create a feeling of security, then the children will quickly forget about their previous unpleasant feelings and be more willing to make contact with you.
3. Invite your child to choose a new toilet accessory together. The purchase should be placed in his room so that the baby gets used to the item and regulates the distance himself. Do not insist that he immediately begins to use the potty for its intended purpose.
4. Let your little one decorate the potty - a boy can put stickers with superheroes on it, and a girl can tie a beautiful ribbon. In this simple way, an impersonal object will turn into a good friend for children.
5. If you notice that the baby is embarrassed to go to the potty in front of witnesses, leave them alone with each other and leave the nursery. The little one will realize that no one is watching him and will relieve himself. All you have to do is praise him for his independence.
6. Play out potty etiquette with dolls and other toys. Let the baby place his favorite baby doll on the “night vase”, gradually perceiving it as something ordinary and even interesting. By the way, playing together brings a positive attitude and liberates the child.
7. Some children just need to see, and not hear, that the toilet (and therefore the potty) is not scary at all. Remove the reservoir cap and show how the flushing system works. Invite your child to press the button himself. Try adding a little yellow dye to the toilet to see the water flush away waste products.
8. If you are faced with psychological constipation, then convincing your child to use the potty again will be much more difficult, since the unpleasant sensations have firmly settled in his subconscious. Eliminate fastening foods from the children's menu and diversify it with various fruits and vegetables that can prevent constipation. You will probably need a special product that will force your baby to sit on the potty. Be sure to consult with a pediatrician and possibly a psychologist.
9. Two-year-old children love to listen to stories told by their mother. If for some reason the baby does not want to sit on the potty, adopt a method of treating fears such as psychotherapy. A specially selected magical story will help reveal the underlying cause of fear and neutralize it.

When telling a therapeutic tale, several conditions must be met:

• the main character should be the same age as your child (at the age of two or three years it is better to take not children, but animals - a bear cub, a bunny, etc.);
• the character has the same problems - he is afraid to pee and poop in the potty;
• The ending of a fairy tale is always positive;
• Read a story when the child is in a good mood and ready to listen to it.

The main factor in children's fears of the potty is most often the incorrect behavior of adults.

To avoid difficulties in teaching children to use the “night vase”, control yourself, do not rush things, do everything consistently and calmly. Remember, only a friendly attitude helps to achieve serious success in raising a child.

If all attempts to get your child to sit on the potty have not been successful, he still resists, throws tantrums and cries, then, first of all, parents need to stop being too persistent

. The child needs to be given some time when he can forget about his childhood fears of the potty.

You can also use some practical tips on how adults can help your child cope with fear:

• try to buy your baby a new potty that will not be similar to the existing one, or give the opportunity to choose it yourself;
• the potty should be in the children's room so that the baby gets used to it before the parents begin to teach him a new skill;
• the child must be given the opportunity to touch the object, examine it carefully and examine it;
• the situation with the potty can be played out with the help of children's toys, placing dolls or soft toys on it and giving the child the opportunity to do this with the toys on their own;
• show your child by example how to use the toilet;
• come up with an interesting story about a potty for your child.

These simple but effective techniques can be used individually or in combination. Of course, an integrated approach to solving the problem will be more effective.

Did you know that there are special panties for potty training a baby? We are talking about them.

How to cure this constipation

• Using an enema. It will significantly help your baby feel better when constipated. You can buy a regular rubber bulb or buy a disposable enema bag.
• Massage. This is not only prevention, but also specific help to a suffering child. How to do a massage against constipation should be learned from a qualified massage therapist.
• Sport. Of course, when we are talking about a baby, it is quite difficult to talk about normal physical activity, but if he is more active, the better it will be for him. It’s very good if you take your child to classes in the pool.
• Correct diet. Consult your doctor about your child's nutrition. In his daily diet he should have fermented milk products, cereals, vegetables and fruits, and baked goods should be given as rarely as possible. If there is a lack of certain substances in the baby’s body, the doctor prescribes certain medications with prebiotics.

Above we described the main methods of combating constipation in children. They all have a physiological basis; they eliminate physical phenomena. However, we must not forget that the main cause of psychological constipation is emotional in nature.

For this reason, parents are obliged to consider their personal attitude towards their beloved child.

• Do not raise your voice at your child if he is afraid to sit on the potty or if it is not clear to him what you are trying to convey to him.
• Do not extort perfect obedience and submission from your baby.
• Start toilet training your baby slowly, calmly and not intrusively.
• Handle the baby delicately.