The pregnancy and birth of the baby are behind us, which means that life is gradually returning to its previous course, although with the arrival of the baby, the everyday life of young parents becomes more eventful. In our article we will talk about sex after childbirth. Since this is the question that worries many women who have become mothers for the first time.
Contraindications to sex after childbirth
There are several serious contraindications, in the presence of which sex after childbirth can only cause harm:
- minor bleeding and spotting;
- functional disorders in the pelvic organs;
- pain during sexual intercourse;
- infectious diseases;
- seams after ruptures.
Separately, it is worth mentioning the sutures that are applied in the presence of cuts or tears. It takes about a week for the stitches to completely dissolve. But it happens that the sutures become inflamed and real hematomas appear in their place, and then it will take more time to recover. In addition, if pain persists during sexual intercourse, you should consult your doctor.
Anal sex after childbirth
Due to unwanted contraindications to the beginning of classical intimacy, many couples consider anal sex after childbirth to be a safe option.
This option is highly undesirable for the following reasons:
- As a result of pushing, hemorrhoids and swelling appear - this causes pain and discomfort, accompanied by minor bleeding.
- Constant constipation and the appearance of anal fissures. Open wounds appear that become infected.
- Muscle function is impaired.
- With sutures on the perineum, due to ruptures during childbirth, repeated divergence or rupture is possible.
The question arises: is it possible to have anal sex? Due to painful sensations, start 5 months after birth. All this time is spent on the recovery period and treatment.
If you follow the doctor's recommendations, intestinal motility is restored and swelling of the anus subsides. What remains is the hemorrhoidal node.
Conclusion
Let’s summarize the article with the opinion of obstetrician-gynecologist Natalya Moroz about how long after childbirth they have sex: “You can start sexual activity no earlier than two months later. During this period, the recovery process takes place.
After examination by a gynecologist, who ascertains the facts about the normal vaginal mucosa. No damage, no granulation after sutures, no deformation. The mucous membrane is thinned after childbirth and during feeding, there is no hydration, and this disrupts normal sex life.
Therefore, you need to come to the gynecologist and talk about your future intimate life,” she says. There is no need to rush, the body must recover properly. The postpartum period, which passes without complications, will allow you to quickly return to sexual activity.
When can you have sex after giving birth?
Gynecologists do not recommend having sex for the first month and a half after the birth of the baby. Although some women, even after 40 days, cannot decide to resume sexual activity after childbirth. But if there are no individual contraindications from the doctor, you can safely enjoy the company of your spouse and not worry about the consequences. At the same time, statistics do not provide very rosy figures, since according to a survey, every fifth woman in the postpartum period does not have sexual attraction to her partner.
Experts advise men to be more attentive to their women and wait until a certain romantic mood appears.
Sex after childbirth with a successful delivery
A safe birth – without tears, cracks and hemorrhoids, this is a woman’s dream. According to doctors’ recommendations, you can begin sexual activity within a month. Why is that?
- Over the course of a month, the uterine mucosa contracts and cleanses, as well as the healing of the “baby place”, the wound at the site of the placenta.
- Increased risk of additional infection.
- Two weeks after childbirth, the sensitivity of the muscles of the vagina and cervix returns, which is accompanied by aching pain for up to 2 months.
- The internal mucous membrane has not fully formed. Having sex injures fragile tissues.
- After six weeks, the woman comes to the gynecologist for an examination. Based on the results of the conclusion, the doctor will tell you how long it will take to return to sexual activity.
During sex, unpleasant sensations and discomfort may occur due to the physiological aspect - vaginal dryness. Appears due to hormonal changes, low levels of vitamin A and low libido. There is a decrease in sensitivity during sex due to slightly stretched vaginal muscles - Kegel exercises will help, strengthen the muscles of the perineum.
As soon as the muscles return to normal, increased sensitivity will arise, and many women will feel a full range of first sexual pleasures. As a result of pregnancy and childbirth, the number of receptors - sensitive nerve endings - increases tenfold, and new erogenous zones appear.
Doctors’ opinion on the question of whether it is possible to have sex after childbirth: “You need to start sexual activity after childbirth. By day 40, a woman is completely ready for sexual relations. She is completing the process of healing and tissue restoration. After this period, you can enter a new stage of your sexual life,” says obstetrician-gynecologist Natalya Volkova.
Causes of sexual disharmony
With the arrival of a baby, everything changes in the house. Metamorphoses also occur in sexual relationships. Most of the problems in the intimate life of a young couple lie in the woman’s psychological mood. With the arrival of a new family member, her priorities change, and now all the attention and care goes to the baby. Naturally, such behavior can irritate the spouse, cause outbursts of jealousy and even lead to scandals.
Among the important points is chronic fatigue associated with a lot of hassle and lack of sleep. The enormous workload negatively affects your mood and relationships with others.
If you believe the research, scientists were able to establish that the process of breastfeeding promotes the release of hormones that cause sensations very similar to orgasm. This may be another reason why a young mother refuses intimacy with her husband.
Sex after childbirth: recommendations from a gynecologist
Many couples are nervous when it comes to having sex for the first time after pregnancy. Women scroll through the questions in their heads: “Will it hurt? How long should I wait? What if I get pregnant again? Will I feel anything? All these questions are quite natural. And the awkwardness that is present for the first time after childbirth is also normal. PandaLand invites readers to take a closer look at some of the problems of postpartum sex and understand how they can be solved.
An obstetrician-gynecologist with 25 years of experience, Gulnara Nurlybaevna Utegalieva, helped answer all the editorial questions.
So, what factors influence the need to abstain from sex after having a baby? According to Gulnara Nurlybaevna, the first and main factor is the restoration of all organs and soft tissues of the reproductive system after childbirth. This process is quite long and you have to wait it out. The psychological attitude also influences. After all, many people are familiar with the feeling of dissatisfaction with their own body after childbirth; of course, women are worried about how their partner will perceive her new features of her figure. Will sex be the same?
After giving birth, a woman has many repulsive moments regarding sexual intercourse: a stomach that has not yet returned to its previous state, possibly stretch marks, chest pain, prolonged discharge, a surge in hormones. Usually, before discharge from the maternity hospital, the doctor notifies you that it is necessary to abstain from intimacy for some time after childbirth. Each woman in labor is individual, so the time of restriction may vary.
“Intimacy with a partner is usually possible after 6-8 weeks (40 days),” explains the gynecologist. - Usually during this period, the hormone prolactin, which is responsible for milk production, is increased. Therefore, women have a heightened instinct of motherhood and, accordingly, they first of all think about their baby. Women in labor, after two months of abstinence, come to see me with the debut of sexual intercourse. Of course, they have complaints that it was unpleasant and painful for them. It’s just that a woman is not even psychologically ready for sex, because the process of childbirth itself is very stressful.”
However, there are times when sex may still occur during periods when it is not recommended. In this case, you need to be prepared for some consequences. As Gulnara Nurlybaevna explained, due to “premature sex,” bleeding may increase, since women after childbirth have postpartum discharge (lochia) for 40 days, which is associated with the restoration of the uterine mucosa.
It should be understood that the first postpartum intimacy (even after the designated period of abstinence) also has some characteristics.
“The soft tissues of the genital tract are still loose, not restored,” says the gynecologist, “and if there were injuries during childbirth, then, accordingly, any intervention in women is associated with pain. Therefore, there may be discomfort, pain during coitus (sexual intercourse - author’s note), decreased libido, and perhaps the woman will not experience an orgasm.”
Are there differences in abstinence rules between women who have given birth vaginally and those who have had a caesarean section? Gulnara Nurlybaevna does not note any particular differences.
“It is worth noting that the postoperative scar in women after a cesarean section takes a long time to heal, and the uterus recovers more slowly. But in operative labor, the reproductive tract was not involved in any way during labor. This is kind of a plus. However, in both cases, all women in labor have the same recovery period. The only thing is that women have restrictions on physical activity after surgery. For example, it is not recommended to restore your figure in the first six months,” explains the doctor.
Please note that if women who gave birth through the birth canal were injured during childbirth, then it is necessary to refrain from intimacy until the healing process has completely passed.
What to do if a couple cannot restore their sex life after the birth of a child? As Gulnara Nurlybaevna explained, the partner simply fades into the background, the woman usually devotes all her strength and energy to the baby. Lack of time, everyday life, unpleasant memories associated with childbirth are the reasons why intimate life turns into marital duty. A man should treat this with understanding, somehow relieve the woman of her workload, take on household chores, and help with the child. A woman should get enough sleep, then her sexual desire (libido) will be restored.
Let's summarize. Basic advice from a gynecologist:
- Have sexual intercourse no earlier than 6-8 weeks after birth.
- A woman should definitely contact a gynecologist 40 days after giving birth to receive recommendations on contraception and further recovery. It is necessary to undergo an ultrasound examination of the pelvic organs to make sure that the genitals and uterus have decreased in size and that everything has been restored.
- A woman who was injured during childbirth and had to have stitches needed time for everything to heal completely. During sexual intercourse, the seams may become separated and if integrity is not restored, then consequences naturally arise. This, of course, can be restored, but with secondary suturing.
- It is necessary to choose a safe method of contraception during breastfeeding. Today, contraceptives for nursing mothers are sold. Also during this period, a woman can have an IUD inserted. You need to use protection because most abortions occur in the fifth or sixth month of the cycle after pregnancy.
- If pain or inflammation occurs during sex (after it), then this should also be prevented immediately and only after treatment should sexual intercourse be initiated. If a woman simply feels something unpleasant or dry, then she needs to use lubricants, which are also sold in pharmacies.
- A woman should get enough sleep and rest. The man should bear the main burden. If he denies it, then say that this is what the doctor ordered! Otherwise, sex will completely disappear in the near future. After all, where does sexual desire come from in a woman who is exhausted and experiencing a postpartum crisis?
How to bring back the romance
Intimate life and sex after childbirth have their own characteristics. Women look differently at their spouse, at the organization of everyday life and at their daily routine. As for sexual attraction, passion is somewhat dulled. Young mothers feel that no one helps them and no one supports them. Thus, postpartum depression may occur. Especially considering that after pregnancy, some women gain extra pounds and begin to doubt their own attractiveness. Therefore, during this period, young mothers need complicity and support from their relatives and significant other. This will help restore self-confidence and improve sex after childbirth.
How to speed up the recovery process
To make the recovery process go a little faster, it is recommended to do Kegel exercises, which are aimed at strengthening the vaginal muscles. Arnold Kegel, who developed a set of exercises, invented them for people with urinary incontinence, but it later turned out that with the help of these exercises:
- sexual desire increases;
- sensitivity improves;
- the vaginal muscles are trained;
- uncontrolled urination, familiar to many who have given birth, disappears;
- the ability to control orgasm appears.
Doing the exercises is quite simple. During urination, you should try to stop the flow of urine using the muscles of the perineum. Perhaps this will not work right away, but after several attempts. The same movements can be done not necessarily in the toilet. The advantage of this method is the ability to train almost anywhere, even sitting at the computer or in front of the TV, you can squeeze and unclench the vaginal muscles. This will be the training.
Of course, you can’t start doing exercises the day after giving birth; you need to wait at least a week for the initial recovery.
If you do these exercises regularly, then the first sex after childbirth, no matter how many weeks later it occurs, will give you extremely pleasant sensations. And your future sex life will become more varied and fuller.
Of course, you can train not only after childbirth, but throughout your life.
Facts about postpartum sex
- Few people know, but the first sex after childbirth can be no less painful than the first sex in your life. This is facilitated by hormonal changes and vaginal dryness.
- According to statistics, almost every second woman has a negative attitude towards sex during the first 6-9 months after the birth of a child.
- There is an opinion that while breastfeeding continues, a woman cannot become pregnant. This is not true: in fact, repeated pregnancy during lactation is quite real. Therefore, you cannot do without protection.
- Breast sensitivity remains after childbirth at the same level as during pregnancy, but now breastfeeding contributes to this.
- The emotional connection and intimacy between partners intensifies after the birth of the baby, which has a positive effect on sex life. Moreover, joint childbirth helps strengthen relationships, as the partner begins to treat his woman with care. And, according to scientists, joint childbirth increases a man’s sexual desire.
- During pregnancy, the muscles of the pelvic organs stretch and it takes some time for them to regain their previous shape. Naturally, this affects the quality of sexual relationships. To speed up the recovery process, consult your doctor about pelvic muscle exercises. This will also enhance your sensations during sex.
- Romantic walks, dinners, nice gifts, warm words and creating an atmosphere of support and mutual understanding in the home will help increase sexual desire.
- The main recommendation from psychologists and psychotherapists is to conduct dialogues. You need to discuss your fears and feelings with your spouse so that he also knows about the current situation.
Doctors' recommendations
The most important advice from all gynecologists is that any questions and problematic situations must first of all be discussed with your doctor. One of the most frequently asked questions is the choice of contraception. Regardless of whether a woman had a natural birth or a caesarean section, contraceptive methods are fairly standard. At the same time, only the doctor selects them, since he takes into account the individual characteristics of the young mother and the characteristics of the birth process.